JP masters trip report

I really looked forward to playing this event as it was going to be the best structured game I'd ever played, also the biggest buy in, my previous biggest being the Waterford winter festival 500 event. My Dad won the ticket the previous week in his local club, the loft in Naas. He decided to give me the ticket for which I am eternally gratefull, he didn't even want or suggest a percentage, he just knew I'd really love to play it and that I wasn't flush enough to pay the €750. I suggested a 65/35 to which he just said 'I don't care, just enjoy yourself'. My intention if cashing was to hand him the lions share obv.


There was a fantastic buzz about the place when I arrived at 3.30, I got talking to Paul (Macspower) and we were talking about all sorts, strategy included, then I asked him what table he was at, lol we drew the same. D'oh!!

At 4.o'clock, we took our seats, I lol'd when I saw who was sitting directly opposite me, Michael Muldoon. I have a little history with Mick, he busted me 40mins into the recent Waterford game in a sick cooler situation, we got our 300BB stacks in on the turn, me with AA, him with KK, and he hit one of his two outs. I've met him a couple of times since and he maintains that I outplayed him, I'm not so sure, I did play it well preflop, but it was a pretty straight forward hand tbh.


Michael is great fun at the table, I had brought my ipod with me, but it remained in my pocket as his table talk was too entertaining. I played an interesting hand early on with him, he opened from EP and I called in the cut off with 68o (my strategy going into this was to play as many connectors and one gappers in position as possible, the structure meant these hands were much more valuable than normal), the flop was Jx8r, he lead for about 3/4 pot and I called, the turn bricked and we checked, the river also bricked and he checked into me. I figured my hand was good here, so I vb for 1/2 pot, he called and my hand was good. This gave me a huge boost of confidence, as I could see he was impressed with how I played it. A few orbits later and I've 6s8s in MP, the BB (The Fox from Waterford) had answered his phone mid deal, so his hand was declared dead before he even looked at it. So obv I open for 150, one caller behind me and Muldoon 3-bets to 450, folded to me, I figure it's a golden opportunity for him to sqeez, and I 4-bet to 1100. Folded to him and he fairly quickly 5-bets to 5k, shit! We have a laugh and both show, he shows QQ and the table gasp when they see my rags. LOL. It's all fun at this stage.


The above sounds like I'm going a bit crazy, but it's all over the course of the first level, and with a one hour clock that's not too crazy. My next big hand happens in the second level, I had limped in with 5d6h, and on a 3-way flop of Qh3h5s, Macs leads out for 300, I call as does button. Turn is the 6d, Mac checks and I lead for 1k, button is only caller, I'm pretty sure he has the fd here. River is the most beautiful 5h, I lead for 2200 and he raises to 5k, I almost shit myself with excitement and ship in the tank, he groans and sticks the rest of his chips in with the nut flush. Wahoo, double up.

I am uber confident at this stage and begin to play my best ever poker, I start raising limpers, 3-betting light and am involved in almost every pot. I played a hand against Johnny Weafer that I'm particularly proud of, I need to explain the previous hand first, I'm in the SB, can't remember what I have but the button opens and I 3-bet, he 4-bets and I fold, my image is quite laggy and Johnny knows this. Anyway, I've 23 on the button and I open for a standard raise, SB folds and Johnny 3-bets from the BB, I reckon he's both good enough to be light, and also good enough to lay down a hand, so I 4-bet and he folds after agonising. I met him later outside and he asked me what I had, I said I had QQ and he told me he dumped JJ and I believe him. I grow my stack to 40k. I then dropped 10k when I lost two races against a really bad player, and my momentum dipped a little. I rocked it up and didn't play that many interesting hands for a while (like a couple of levels).
Then a really big hand happened, I was in the SB with Ks4s and 32k. Muldoon opened from MP for 800 (150/300), he was fairly active at this stage, it folded to me and I decided to try a bluff stop n go, I expected the BB to muck but he called. Anyway, the flop is 2s8s6c and I lead for 2200, folded to Mick and he raises to 6k and I shove. He tanks for a minute then makes a great call with 10s10h. I'm pretty sick but happy at the same time to see my King is also live, the turn is a red 3 giving me 14 outs, the 5s on the river ships me the 65k pot. In hindsight it was probably a silly play, I had an above average stack and didn't need to play such a risky hand. But hey, I'm a luckbox so who cares, I've now got a really healthy tank, and have crippled a tough opponent, also, he owed me one since Waterford : )



I build it up to 80k when an interesting hand develops, The_Rigger (Paul) opens from EP for 1200 (200/400), he's playing 26k, ozpoker calls and I 3-bet to 4500 from the cut off with AJo. Paul flat calls and oz folds. Paul's call worried me, I was thinking if I'm in his shoes I'd probably flat call with KK/AA and hope for a shove from oz. Anyway, the flop is J high, and he checks, I check behind for pot control, as I'm still not sure whether I've the best hand. Turn is a 10, and Paul leads for 6k, I call as I've shown weakness on the flop, I think he'll give up on the river. River's another 10 and he insta shoves his last 15k. This is a really tough spot for me, I just can't see him bluffing here, he knows I'm not calling the turn with a draw, he has to have me on a made hand, I really agonise over this and eventually fold. He shows me AQ. Very well played imo. I don't think I can ever call there, and I simply got out-played, but that pot would've put me up with the chip leaders. Sick.



I finished day 1 on 65k and was very confident going into day 2. I went home and took a sleeping pill as my mind was going 100mph replaying hands.



Day 2.

I was happy with my table draw, I had position on the only bigger stack (Bigmickg from boards), the rest were hovering around the average of 25k. I had a disaster of a start though where I dropped 50k in 40mins, the majority in this hand, I open for 3k with AKo from MP (50k)(500/1000/75), Stephen Murphy (35k) 3-bets to 7k from the button. Folded to me and I decide to flat call and stop n go shove, the flop is 8 high all clubs, I've no clubs. I shove and he dwells for a while and eventually calls with QcQx, I think my speech play turned my hand face up and I should've kept my mouth shut, but tbh I doubt he was ever folding. On reflection, I'm not happy with how I played it.

I win a few pots to bring me up to 26k when a funny hand happens. Folded to me on the button and I open 106 for 3k, the BB calls. Flop is 10 A 6, and he leads for 5k, I raise to 15k and he goes into the tank. I start with all the speech play and do my best to get him to stick in the tank, I've only 8k behind lol, and I know he has only one pair, so it's a bit of a struggle. Then JP walks by, I enquire as to the availability of STT sats into his upcoming 300 game, and that clinches the deal, BB sticks the tank in with A7, no help for him and I double up.

Sadly that hand was the last highlight of my tournament, the following level, and we're 6 handed, I open for 4k (46k) with A9o from UTG+1, folded to the BB and he 3-bets to 15k, he had shown two big bluffs a little earlier, one was a b/3bet post flop and another was a 4-bet pre. He was quite laggy, had a big tank and was very confident. Anyway, I felt this was a great opportunity to add 30% to my stack so I shoved. He insta calls with AA. D'oh.

I was so sick, I busted with about 45 left, I should've went deeper. Top place paid 40k which would've been a nice touch obv.

Fair play to JP who imo puts on the most player friendly tournaments in this country.

A fantastic tournament, and a really enjoyable weekend. Next time I'm gonna cash though. : )

Things that really bug the shit out of me..

1. People who put L plates on arseways.

Keep well clear of these imbeciles! I would recommend at least 200 yards. If these people are too stupid to perform correctly this most elementary of tasks, they are surely a danger to all other road users.

2. People who refer to simple coincidences as Ironic.

Let's say Gerry Ryan is on the radio talking about monkeys that eat their own faeces, and you were 'only just talking about that', in a drunken pub conversation the night before, well, that my friend is not Ironic, it's just a simple coincidence.

3. Bible belt Christians.

These people truly are the most despicable, hypocritical, small minded bunch of people on this planet. If you don't eat, sleep and shit like them, you are going to burn for all eternity in hell. Yes, that's right, their all powerfull, all LOVING god is going to burn you, and 4.4 billion others in a big fire beneath the earth! I wonder how many of these 'moral' clean living people would classify Hitler as an evil man.

4. Daft Dave

A message to Right Price Tiles management: Because of that annoying bastard, I would rather walk naked from Turkey to Dublin with travertine on my back than cross the threshold of one of your stores.

5. TV licence ads.

RTE keep warning us that one of these days, the wolf will knock on the door, catch you without your licence, and your family and friends will disown you with the shame of it all. They bombard us with scare mongering ads to make us believe the Gestapo are patrolling the country ready to haul in the non compliant BULLSHIT. There is more chance of you getting hit by a runaway speed boat while sunbathing on the beach, than there is of a TV licence inspector arriving at your door. And, even if he did, I think I could just about survive the 'shame' of it all. My advice: don't get one in the first place, then they won't hound you with letters to renew.

6. Skanger city centre young wans that wear pygamas outdoors.

WTF is this all about? Girls, this is not a trendy fashion statement, nor is it an outward expression of your desire to stick two fingers up at the rest of society. It's simply ridiculous, and it makes you look like you just wandered out of a mental institution.

7. D4 girls.

These fake, shallow annoying people really bug me. Why do they speak as if they've just walked off the set of Dawson's creek? YOU ARE IRISH!! Stop speaking with an American accent. Oh my God, it's like, sooo annoying.

8. Rubbernecking.

It's a really pleasant experience when you're sitting in an hour of traffic on the M50, only to discover the cause of said traffic is an accident on the OTHER side of the motorway. People, unless a member of your immediate family is involved, don't fuck my day up, keep your foot to the floor.

9. Calgon tablets.

"Washing machines live longer with Calgon"The fact that this company has a market shows how some people in this country are devoid of simple common sense.A good washing machine will cost you about €300, and will easily last five years without the help of Calgon.They say, use one tablet in every wash and your machine will last longer.Maybe so, but each tablet costs .30c, meaning if you had five washes a week, in five years you would have spent €390, JUST ON CALGON TABLETS!Is this not blindingly obvious?

10. VIPs.

Why should someone be considered a 'very important' person just because they followed a certain career path or were born into a certain family?I mean, if my mother had the choice of pushing me or Bono in front of a train, I can guarantee it would be me visiting her in prison.So, how come I can't get beyond those red ropes?

/End rant.

Fun at the emporium

I went in with my buddy Al to the sporting emporium last night for their weekly Sunday tournament. I like this game as it starts nice and early at 7.30, has a cheap buy in and usually gets four or five tables. We met beforehand for a quick pint in Kehoes, then strolled over. The tourney was halfway through the first level with three full tables running, so they opened up a fourth and myself and Al ended up sitting right beside each other with Al to my left. Bummer. Al knows my game inside out, so the last place I want him is exactly where he is, thankfully we're only there to have a bit of craic. I fold the first five hands, but notice the guy to my right has limp called OOP four of these, check folded flop on three, and one hand he got to the river and folded to a 1/4 pot bet, in short, he's bad. Anyway he limps UTG with 3.5k behind, I raise to 200 (25/50) with QQ (5k), button (5k) calls and UTG 3-bets to 600! Mmmmm, anytime I've seen a bad player limp raise from UTG it's QQ+, and I've seen it a lot, but I'm never folding here. I just call the 400, and button calls too (this guy will have anything here, KJ=monster merchant). The flop comes 10 high, and UTG confidently fires out 1k, I figure I'm toast way too often here, put it down to a cooler and fold. I nag him to show, and he turns over KK. Obv happy with my read, but I was thinking afterwards that I played it badly preflop, and I should've just shipped it to the 3-bet given how shallow we were, flat calling it multiway wasn't optimal and folding would just be ghey. The next hand I played lost me a chunk. MP opens for 350 (50/100), villain from previous hand flat calls, I'm on the button and figure this is a super standard squeez spot, I've played with OR before and he's pretty weak, therefore won't recognise what I'm doing. Although it's a very profitable play, the problem with doing it shallow stacked is, there's not much room for it to backfire lol. But hey, I can't resist, so I make it 1150 with 10 3. OR folds as expected but the other dude calls. Shit. Flop is 10 J Q rainbow, he takes an age then eventually checks. I bet 1100, leaving 2k behind. It's a small bet but he folded earlier to a ridic small bet, plus, it just enough to not commit me, also I don't want to check in case he bluff shoves the turn. To my disgust he calls the 1100. I'm done now. Another Q on the turn and he checks, I check behind. J on the river and he insta-shoves. Uggh. He told me later he had AQ. Nothing much of note after that, I picked up AA twice and didn't get paid, so it was one of those nights. My exit hand was funny though, I'm in the SB with J9 and Al is BB. It's folded to button who just arrived at the table with a monster stack, I've played with him once before and from what I remember his opening range is pretty nitty, but that didn't stop me shoving when he opened his button lol. There was a third of my stack in there, and surely even the nittiest of nits opens the button wide now and then, especially with a healthy tank. So I ship it, but Al insta ships behind me 'OH OH', then the button almost knocks the table over getting his chips in! He flips KK, Al has 88 and I slowroll them with the J9 lol. Flop is J 10 4, wahoo there's hope, BOOM 9 on the turn, 'Yay, triple up, just have to dodge 15 cards', but a justified 4 on the river gives the pot to the KK. 'BOO' :( That was a fun hand, a good way to go broke so to speak. It's a fun tournament and not one to be taken too seriously, but it's still a half decent cash for first (I won it recently for €800), and it finishes up relatively early. My next outing will probably be Lukes game on Friday, it's a wonderfully structured game, and by far the best regular Dublin tournament.

Tilted by a rasher

This happened last Monday morning and I'm still tilting over it. I was working in Rathfarnham painting an apartment. At 10.oclock, myself and another lad headed down to the shopping centre for a bite to eat. There were really only two options available to us, one was a typical deli, the other a cafe/restaurant. All the deli had to offer were those shitty photo-copied cuisine de France rolls, I really really hate them, they're so boring, where the fuck did all those white fluffy rolls with the crust go? You know the ones with all the little circular bumps on the bottom, man I miss them. Anyway, the deli was a definite no no because of this, so I grabbed my embarrassed workmate (I always make a point of telling deli staff the reason why they've lost my fiver), and off we went to the cafe. Up to the counter and there's this weird looking oul'one with no eyebrows serving, and wiping sweat off her brow a lot, I feel like explaining the function of the eyebrow to her, but I decide to leave it. Anyway, I order the large breakfast, it's €9.00 which I feel is a little steep considering it's not made fresh, and barring the fried egg it's sitting in a heater thingy for god knows how long. So she throws two eggs, two rashers, two puddings and two sossos on to the plate, all's well so far.
I'm looking at the big lump of black pudding on the plate, and I know full well I'm never going to eat it, so I say to sweatybrow, quite politely I might add, 'excuse me, would it be possible to swap that pudding for a rasher?' Well, before I finished the sentence she snapped 'NO!'. I just stood there with this 'WTF?' look on my face. I asked her could she explain why? She says, 'rashers are much more expensive than pudding' in one of those really smug annoying tones. I really was dumbstruck by this. I can never understand how people as stupid as this are entrusted with such important roles in a business, she doesn't realise how costly that rasher actually is considering it's the last one she'll never swap for me! Later on I was sick that I didn't just walk out there and then and not give this bitch any of my moniez, I suppose I was too hungry.
Next she hands me these two pathetic excuses for toast, it was basically bread with a slight tan, so I told her very un-politely to try again.
I sat down with the food still fuming, when it got worse, the breakfast was effectively a pile of shite because of how long it had been sitting there, I never felt as violated.
I went up and got all the little butter thingies, and opened every one of them like a big four year old, opened up all the sugar sachets and poured them over the plate then loosened the salt and pepper so the next lucky punter will totally destroy their food, I have fantasies of some 'Falling down' type going postal with nobrow. Immature but lots of fun nonetheless.

Finally got around to it...

I've finally done it, I've been meaning to start one of these for a long time now. It's really just gonna be a personal thing to start off (feels weird writing to my future self!). I was recently reading a thread on boards.ie about poker blogs and their importance or lack of, and I was intrigued by a post from Willie C about his own blog. Apparantly he's been blogging for quite a while unbeknownst to me. I really enjoy his posts on boards, he's a very witty guy, so I sent him a PM to ask for a link. He refused saying he'd rather not as it's really just a private thing he does for his own enjoyment. I didn't realise people do this, and I kinda liked the idea, so here goes. Maybe some day I'll unleash it on the world : ), but not just yet.