Tilted by a rasher

This happened last Monday morning and I'm still tilting over it. I was working in Rathfarnham painting an apartment. At 10.oclock, myself and another lad headed down to the shopping centre for a bite to eat. There were really only two options available to us, one was a typical deli, the other a cafe/restaurant. All the deli had to offer were those shitty photo-copied cuisine de France rolls, I really really hate them, they're so boring, where the fuck did all those white fluffy rolls with the crust go? You know the ones with all the little circular bumps on the bottom, man I miss them. Anyway, the deli was a definite no no because of this, so I grabbed my embarrassed workmate (I always make a point of telling deli staff the reason why they've lost my fiver), and off we went to the cafe. Up to the counter and there's this weird looking oul'one with no eyebrows serving, and wiping sweat off her brow a lot, I feel like explaining the function of the eyebrow to her, but I decide to leave it. Anyway, I order the large breakfast, it's €9.00 which I feel is a little steep considering it's not made fresh, and barring the fried egg it's sitting in a heater thingy for god knows how long. So she throws two eggs, two rashers, two puddings and two sossos on to the plate, all's well so far.
I'm looking at the big lump of black pudding on the plate, and I know full well I'm never going to eat it, so I say to sweatybrow, quite politely I might add, 'excuse me, would it be possible to swap that pudding for a rasher?' Well, before I finished the sentence she snapped 'NO!'. I just stood there with this 'WTF?' look on my face. I asked her could she explain why? She says, 'rashers are much more expensive than pudding' in one of those really smug annoying tones. I really was dumbstruck by this. I can never understand how people as stupid as this are entrusted with such important roles in a business, she doesn't realise how costly that rasher actually is considering it's the last one she'll never swap for me! Later on I was sick that I didn't just walk out there and then and not give this bitch any of my moniez, I suppose I was too hungry.
Next she hands me these two pathetic excuses for toast, it was basically bread with a slight tan, so I told her very un-politely to try again.
I sat down with the food still fuming, when it got worse, the breakfast was effectively a pile of shite because of how long it had been sitting there, I never felt as violated.
I went up and got all the little butter thingies, and opened every one of them like a big four year old, opened up all the sugar sachets and poured them over the plate then loosened the salt and pepper so the next lucky punter will totally destroy their food, I have fantasies of some 'Falling down' type going postal with nobrow. Immature but lots of fun nonetheless.